Once I got over my suicidal thoughts and realized I had to try to make the best I could of the situation, things were a little easier to bear. I live one day at a time, look forward to being free, and hope I can put this miserable experience behind me. Whatever happens in my life though, I KNOW I’ll never be able to forget my five years here
The most important change is in my own attitude. I realize I did many bad things that put me here….and I NEVER want to do anything again that would put me back in here! SPW is NO JOKE, and I learned that the hard way.
One good thing that happened is a cute guy from high school that had the hots for me named Jason looked me up and started writing to me. He was a jock in high school, and I was too much of a “bad girl" to be bothered with him then. But, it turns out he’s really nice, and we like each other a lot. He’s come to visit me 6 times now, and even though the visit is through plexi-glass, I really enjoy it when he comes. He even thinks my horrible prison buzz-cut is sexy!
Poor Cory is still slaving away in max. I catch her image on a monitor now and then, and she looks like an emaciated 60 year old bald women. I can’t imagine her ever getting over what they’ve done to her!
What will become of me when I finish my sentence next year? Hard to say. Jason wants me to live with him, and has offered to marry me. It might work, though I’m definitely attracted to some women as much as I am to him. Even though Pilar and I have never done anything, my own lust tells me will someday when we both hit the bricks. Surprisingly, I told Jason about that and he’s OK with it…..as long as there’s no other men in my life. He has his own body shop, and says he’ll hire me to do the books. I think I could be good at it.
